It appears that money doesn't buy you a robot horse and for that, I'm thankful. Jade is still derpy and goofy, but slowly getting with the program. We've dealt with her reluctance to eat the food she was shipped with (seriously?), the transition from timothy to coastal hay, and her skin freaking out over the bizarrely humid and icky Texas air/weather. She's adjusted well to the temperatures and that was a big concern for me. We also survived learning to groom (its just a horse, seriously!) and I haven't ruined her in any way lol.
She's working on her ground manners and its going great. She's super smart and slooowly learning to not drag me everywhere on the planet. None of my saddles come close to fitting her (something I foresaw but I can hope, right?) So I'm beginning the harrowing task of buying tack for her.
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